Tuesday, September 09, 2008

The lost lamb

I really did not know where to go. The thorns were very high and I was tired of being scratched and torn, tired of being hurt. There was nobody around to offer any sympathy and so the harder I tried to extricate myself from the mess in which I found myself, the more tangled I became.

It was tough going.

Recent heavy rain had turned the ground into a marsh, even up on the hillside. As I struggled to free myself from the thorns, my feet sank into the mud. Every time I managed to pull one hoof free, the other three sank in more deeply. It was cold, wet and miserable. I knew that I was becoming filthy dirty, but there was absolutely nothing more that I could do.

I really wish that I had listened to advice.

I wish that I had paid attention when others tried to guide me! Perhaps if I had listened to them, I would not be in this mess. If ever I can escape, I promise that life will be different. I will change my ways. I will not think that I have all the answers. I will become humble… I promise I will change.

But what is the point of making all these promises when I know that they will not be kept? It is all very well to make resolutions in times of difficulty, but things are different when life returns to normality.

Life was becoming unbearable. I could cope no longer. In my exhaustion, my struggles became weaker, but only because I had no energy left to continue the fight.

Just as I was on the point of giving up, he came and found me. I heard his footsteps before I saw him and felt him reach down to the thorns that trapped me. The thorns scratched his hands, drawing blood, but he did not seem to mind. He did not even mind that I was dirty, because he lifted me onto his shoulders and carried me home.

I once was lost, but now am found, was blind, but now, I see.

God bless,
Sr Janet